He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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