my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
