He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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