I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
