I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
