I need to stop coming to work sober
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
