he thought i was a dude.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
