I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
