I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
