I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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