she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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