if you like me you must not know who I am
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
