i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
