So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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