I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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