Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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