Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize