I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
