He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
