I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
