So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
