I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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