I seem to have left my pride at pride
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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