hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize