its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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