The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
