Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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