I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
