so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
