idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
bring money and cleavage
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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