summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
