saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
