Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
