He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
