HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
