He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
