Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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