Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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