There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
