dude i'm inner monologue high
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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