There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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