Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
