evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
