Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Actions speak louder than pants.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
