So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
