yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
it's great music for shaving your balls
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
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