32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
