dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Someone shit on the floor
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
