im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Welp...herpes.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
