do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
