I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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