We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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