I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
