JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize