We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
