but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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