There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
