So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
