Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
