I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
