Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
